First of all stop browsing for such subjects as motivation, self improvement, success and all such similar stuff. If you are browsing for some academic purpose it is OK .But if the purpose of your search is to transform yourself, stop it right now. You need not search for that answer on the internet or in any book, or not even with a motivational expert. The answer is with in you, and you know very well as to what is wrong and right with you.
You already must have thought several times for several hours over a period of time, and you know how to change yourself. You also know if a change is necessary at all, will the change bring in more happiness, will it add value to me in the society, will it give me mental peace etc. Don’t think of changing your self, just for the sake of motivators and personality development speakers. These people charge you up for a day, and you will be back to square one, the next day. They don’t sit with you for days together; as they are already busy enough bombarding people with speeches and books.
Take for example you had a heated argument with your boss at the office, few minutes later your mind automatically starts analyzing the situation, and you will try to judge and justify. You will express some of the feelings resulted out of this analysis, to your friends and colleagues or your family back home. You will take into consideration their feed back and re-analyze the bad situation you faced with your boss. If your fault was more, you know it very well and may be you will try to avoid such things in future or try to rectify the fault you have done. If the boss’s part was more, you pretty well know that you need not bow down to the boss, or feel for the mistakes you were not responsible. But often we do not accept our mistakes, or inversely you might try to please the boss even if you were not responsible for the mistake. A self improvement book or a motivational speaker advices you to avoid such situations by foreseeing the thing, or they ask you to accept the truth, or they may also advice you to revolt against your boss.
But finally what needs to be done or what need not be done, can be analyzed by your self and your mind automatically doest it. Though you may not implement in reality, the thought processes of your mind, these match very well with the advices given by personality development experts, motivational speakers etc. Ofcourse, if you compare without bias.
If you are not confident of yourself and not capable of doing self analysis, then you might require counseling help, or get benefited by a personality development expert or the services of a motivational speaker.Yes many of the motivational books and experts in these subjects can be of great help to guide you.But you should take care not to blindly believe that they can transform your life at once.
Many a times, some unscruplous counselors, who are busy making money through personality development games and techniques, induce fear and cause low self esteem in subjects and make them believe that they lack highly in motivation or that they suffer from psychological disorders.Never believe that these are disorders, and do not ever believe that these minor weaknesses can be cured only under the expert guidance of a personality development expert or that of a motivational speaker.These weaknesses do happen with all of us at one point of the time or the other, and a mature individual is capable of correcting his weaknesses.
I do not discount the importance genuine experts in these fields. Earlier, our elders in the family and neighbourhood used to guide us, during our ups and lows.Now this sort of guidance has to be bought from personbality development experts and motivational speakers.